Some Things Don't
by xxRomanceGirlxx
Summary: As Angel comes to terms with Buffy and Spike's relationship, he and Willow have a heart-to-heart. Missing scene at the end of S10 issue #18. Angel-centic. Mentions of Spuffy (not all in a good way) with bittersweet B/A.


**A/N:** So I don't necessarily consider the comics anymore. I realized they're just redundant and ruined a lot of what made the ending in the show so great in the first place just for more money ... and if there's not heart, it's not genuine. I take it more as a "what-if" now or fanfiction for the fans because I can't make any more allowances for poor writing ... **_BUT_** the Old Demons arc did inspire this little one-shot. In part because I frickin' love Angel and obviously everyone writing the comics hate him and he needs more love, but also because I wasn't entirely satisfied with the resolution chosen between Angel and Spuffy. It just felt ... out-of-place? And didn't entirely make sense? I dunno. For those of you who _do_ consider the comics canon or even some small part of you, just consider this a after-scene at the end of issue #18 because it makes _**so**_ much more sense to Angel's character.

 **Disclaimer: I wouldn't touch ownership of the Buffy comics with a ten-foot pole at this point. I'm just humoring the idea. I'd happily buy the show though, if Joss is selling. ;)**

 _ **Open to constructive criticism/OCCness warnings!**_

* * *

 _Some Things Don't_

Angel knew this would happen.

Maybe, on some subconscious level, he always knew. Even before that night in the graveyard before the battle with The First when Buffy said Spike was in her heart.

He knew someday he would lose Buffy. Just as he knew he'd still be the same years and years later. Loving her and having to watch her move on with her life while he was still here. That day Buffy walked out of his office—and out of his life—, her words _"I'll never forgot"_ erased as Angel stood there, staring after her, reliving all the memories of the day that never was while she was already gone. Maybe _that_ was when he knew.

But he lived with it.

Seeing Buffy happy with Spike hurt. It hurt more than he'd ever feel comfortable admitting. There was still so many things Angel wanted to say to her, things he'd wished they could sort out. Seeing her now, more than ever, bubbled it up the surface, needing air ... but he didn't. 'Cause he couldn't. It didn't matter anymore. All that did came out was he wanted her happy. She had no idea how much he still loved her. She never would again. And he lived with that too.

Angel's impossible dream of ever being with Buffy again had already withered and died long before this point. It died on some subconscious level the minute he snapped Giles' neck Twilight-possessed and resurrecting him certainly hadn't revived it. He knew better than that and he was glad he had. It made it easier for him to accept her choosing Spike. After years of their rivalry, of holding onto to something that'll never happen, of everything that did happen, Angel could sum up his mental state in one word and that was tired. It was what it was. He couldn't change it now.

Maybe Buffy was happier with Spike than him even though they wouldn't last. Maybe Spike even deserved it. Maybe it's just what Angel himself deserved after everything her relationship with him put her through and all the things he's done. Maybe it was karma, punishment.

But even as herationalized and accepted, resigned and let go the entire way out of Buffy's apartment ... there was still a small part of Angel, buried under it all. A part he scarcely wanted to acknowledge, but there nonetheless. Wreathed with defeat and sadness.

He had _left._ He left Buffy so many years ago she could have a normal relationship. Children, picnics, someone who take her in the sunlight. Someone who could give her a future. He had sacrificed being with her, her love, the only thing he knew so she could have what she deserved ... and yet here she was again. Settling. Pretending that her and Spike will honestly end any differently than they had.

Angel felt truly haunted. He did the right thing so long ago only for Buffy to make the very same mistakes. She deserved so much better than this. She always had and she still didn't know it. Angel truly wondered if he ruined her. Even with everything different, nothing changed.

He had wanted to say it to Buffy so badly. That she deserved better, that Spike was the same as him. Maybe in the past he would've. Now he knew it wasn't his place. She wasn't the same young girl he knew. She was a adult now and free to make her own choices. He just wish her choice didn't have to be Spike. He wished even more Spike knew being with her was wrong, but he couldn't expect that from him either.

It suddenly occurred to Angel then if he was really any different than Spike. If Buffy had chose him or even ever changed her mind someday and wanted to be together, would he honestly say no?

For a very precarious moment, he truly didn't know the answer.

Not too long ago it would've been yes. He would've went back to her in heartbeat, despite the curse and the vampirism or even the fact they lived on completely continents now with completely separate lives. After everything Angel had lost and suffered in those hard five years in L.A., he had forgotten why he broke up with her. He just knew he missed her. Missed the peace and simple pleasure he had just being with her. But after Twilight ... he felt some of his old perspective slowly came back again. That she _was_ better off without him. That she _still_ deserved better than what he could give.

So seeing her with Spike? As much as he was trying to accept it for Buffy's sake—and he was really trying—for a part of him it was like rubbing salt in wounds he hadn't even known were wounds. What was the point of it all _really_? The one thing he did he remembered now had been right, just for her to end up with Spike?

The whole idea troubled him so much Angel found himself brooding again as he and Willow walked together through the airport. " ... What was the point?" Angel said out loud without thinking, frowning.

Willow turned to him, her brow burrowed. "What point?"

Angel instinctively had the urge to shut down, bottling it all and protecting himself. But as he stared into Willow's open face, he knew she would understand. He had to tell someone _something_. He couldn't say it to Buffy.

He halted and gave a little sigh. "I ... _left_. I left all those years ago ... so Buffy could have more than vampires and darkness. Instead she just went to Spike."

"That was never Buffy's decision. You made it for her, remember? And what, you think some big 'I'm-so-noble-and-self-sabotage-y' exit reserves you as the _only_ vampire boyfriend?" Willow's look was stern. "I mean, I get this whole Spike and Buffy thing isn't really fun, but you made a _choice_. Choice _s_! You gotta pay the pied piper."

"I know. More than ever, I know that, it's just—" Angel broke off with a shake of his head, trying to find a way to express himself. "I just _know_ how this is gonna end. Buffy's wasting her time with Spike."

"Is this the whole 'Immortals don't change' thing again'? Cause, y'know, if we factor in the soul, I could make a pretty good case for—" Willow began all theoretical.

"It's not just _who_ Spike is. It's _what_ he is." Angel stated, very serious. "Maybe Buffy let herself forget it ... but Spike's still just like me. A vampire. He can't give her a future or anything that'll last. Not even now."

The red-headed witch stared at him, mixed feelings on her face. "Well, you don't know. Maybe they can—" She argued unconvincingly.

"Willow."

The witch gave up, pouting. She paused, worrying her bottom lip with doubt in her eyes. Finally she sighed. "Okay, so yeah, it's not gonna be white-picket fences and fat grandchildren in a _How I Meet Your Mother_ -a-thon ... but maybe that's not the point right now. Maybe Buffy just needs some happy for a little while. I mean, after everything." Willow said uncertainly.

Angel said nothing, not beginning to know how to express his complex feelings. He did want Buffy happy, but at the same time he didn't want this. He didn't want Buffy settling. She'd only be happy for so long before she remembered. He didn't want that for her. He never did.

He felt Willow's hand on his shoulder, drawing him back. Her face was etched with compassion and sympathy. "You did the right thing back then, Angel. I mean, you were right, letting her go. You're still right. Fangy beaus? No good. " She agreed gently, surprising him. "But Buffy's still gotta live her _life_ , y'know? Make her own choices. She's gotta ... experience new things, different people. She's gotta grow up."

Grow up. The phrase was like a splinter had been lodged deep in his heart and even if he didn't know that's what Willow meant, he only heard it one way.

 _Grow up from him._

Maybe it was true. Buffy was better off moving on with someone new. Nothing between them ever worked out right and he accepted that more than he ever did before no matter how much he still loved her and likely always would. He tried to be happy for her if she was happy with Spike. He wouldn't get in the way. But still ...

Angel stared at his plane, ready to take off. "I said it before ... but they aren't gonna last. Spike can't give Buffy what she really wants ... like _I_ can't. I forgot about that a while, but now I know. He can't be with her in the sunlight or give her children or any kind of real relationship. That's not good enough for her. It never was."

Willow crossed her arms, playing devil's advocate. "Well, how do _you_ know? A lot of things changed. _Buffy's_ changed."

"Some things don't." Angel said. Without another word he turned and started to head off to board the plane. "Buffy deserves better than Spike. Better than both of us."

The red-headed witch watched him go, mulling that over. A rueful, almost indulgent smile came to her face and she shook her head. "Immortals never change."

* * *

 **A/N:** **So this the result of me humoring the comics. I just find Angel's reasoning on why Spike and Buffy won't last in the actual issue really frickin' weird and a little OCC and while I didn't cut it out, I made it more consistent. Even if Angel totally would go back to Buffy regardless, why wouldn't he point out the _real_ obvious reason Spuffy are doomed the same reason him and Buffy are doomed at least to Willow? That's actually one of the reasons I don't like the comics. A _official_ Spuffy relationship is like a massive middle finger to why Angel left and insults Buffy too because she's settling for another doomed relationship that's just another redundant story and completely undoes the lesson learned at the end of Season 3. It's so frustrating as a Buffy fan and a Angel fan (the individual characters). No matter which way I look at it, I just can't see the point. I'm think I'm just gonna live in the show.**

 **I wrote this for a little more noble Angel-lovin' ... or at least something more in-character. The comics clearly hate him or maybe just love Spike too much. At least in fanfiction, we can take better taken care of him! ;)**

 _ **Reviews would be appreciated!**_


End file.
